Today

​Today is the day. The day you start believing again. Oh, I know it’s been a hard road. I know these last few week, months, years have really tested you. They’ve scraped you up. Bruised you. Tested the limits of your strength. Stretched the boundaries of your heart. Hurt your hands as you tried so hard to hold on to things that were tearing at your grasp. And yet here you are. Unbroken. Still standing. Maybe still teary eyed and healing but ready. 

Ready on this new day to start believing again. Believing that the plan for your life is not just what has already happened to you. Believing that your future, your destiny is still being written. Shaped. Refined. Perfected. Now is the perfect time to remember how to believe in love and in yourself. No matter who has hurt you, or what’s been taken from you, or how many times you have had to glue all the pieces of your heart back together. No matter how many times you’ve had to start over. Today. Today is the day you stop holding yourself back. Tied down with things you wish you’d done differently. Things you wish had gone differently. Burdened with the what ifs and the should- haves. And the if-onlys. Today. 

Today is the day you remember that there are still good people in the this world. Who mean well. And want what you want. The day you finally realize that there truly is a purpose for everything. Each and every step. Every heartbreak. Every joy. Every loss. All just pieces of the puzzle that doesn’t even have a complete picture painted yet. But will. Today is your day. Your blank canvas. If you needed a sign, here it is. It’s time to let go. And go fearlessly, joyfully and with a boundless hope into your new life. It is the time.

Unfair… Why?

​I am so heartbroken today. Just whenever I think I should have faith in humanity and our constitution, someone always makes me realize I am taking the wrong way. Today there was so much of traffic in Bangalore everywhere that there was no scope of rash driving or fast driving. You just cannot drive in 2nd gear. But we keep seeing such people who try to be smart and behave that they can violate the rules and drive in their own way, keep changing lanes all the time bothering everyone. This is what happened to us today. We were driving on Old Madras road full of traffic and trying to take left turn (our indicator was already blinking) but an elderly person came from the left in speed trying to overtake us. What went wrong was there was lot of traffic in the front so he was not able to go anywhere and suddenly applied brake. We were unaware that he will apply brake just after overtaking us, so our car bumped on him giving his car a dent(as said by him Which we are not sure if any damage happened). In the middle of traffic he came out and started shouting at us blaming that we are youngsters and doing rash driving. We requested him to side his and our vehicle so that we can talk and sort this out because traffic and people were getting effected. but he tried to get inside our vehicle and in the meanwhile a bus dashed our vehicle so badly that our car fender on the left got fully damaged. We told him that the chaos he has created made loss for both of us. But he took us to Indiranagar Police Station and said he will punish us, do court case for whatsoever we have done. We apologized a 100 times, explained him lot many times that he overtook us from the left when we were about to take the turn but he said he is an elderly person and we are no one to say he is wrong on any part. RULES ARE RULES. TRAFFIC RULES ARE FOR EVERYONE WHETHER SOMEONE IS YOUNG OR OLD. That’s what I knew throughout my life. Policeman said both were at fault some or the other way and both have got loss on the vehicle so creating issue about this is useless and mutually sort this out. But he insisted to lodge a complain everytime saying we are youngsters and we do rash driving and he is an elderly person so he should be given priority for this. He also passed comments on our character. So the policeman said to go to Traffic Police Station and do the complain. In the meanwhile he punctured our vehicle which we didn’t even realize and said to come to Traffic police station. When we started, we got to know that our car is punctured and we cannot go there till we get this thing repaired. So we approached the same policeman and told him what happened to us and even requested him to inform the Traffic Police Station that the elderly man has punctured our car, we will take time to reach there. He helped us fixing our car for which I am very obliged to him and we reached 15-20mins late to Traffic Police Station. When we entered inside we got to know that the elderly person has manipulated them and infact wrote that we didn’t turn up because we were at fault. He went from the station by the time we reached. Also he wrote in the complain that we tried to hide our identity, which was completely wrong because when he asked our name and what we do we told him without any fear as we knew we were not wrong at our part. But this was not the end, what we didn’t expect was Traffic Police inspector (I don’t know his name) spoke rudely to us and wasn’t ready to hear our story. Inspite of our requesting him to hear what exactly happened he said you also write a complain and let court decide who is right. We forcefully told him that he came from the left to right overtaking us when we we taking left turn and which is wrong according to traffic rules, he shouted back to us saying no one follows traffic rules here in Bangalore, you don’t teach me these things, pay him the amount and settle this. I wasn’t able to control my emotions and I broke down at that moment for which I apologized to policemen after realising i did wrong and made my voice loud on them. but if they would have listened to our story rather than saying we are wrong, we should do settlement and ignoring us unnecessarily such things wouldn’t have happened. SO BASICALLY IF EVERYONE BREAKS TRAFFIC RULES WE CAN’T GET THIS RULES THING SORTED AND WE CAN’T TELL PEOPLE TO FOLLOW RULES.? SERIOUSLY? We don’t have problem giving money for the damage, even we have suffered damaged but we are not asking or even blaming him, that because of his stubborn behavior he got even our car damaged but if we will support what is wrong and get feared of court case or FIR when we are not at fault then we have no rights to dream about our country becoming better place to live. Threatening a person who is kind has become a habit of other people these days, and this is what happened to us. He infact lied to policemen saying our left fender was already damaged even seeing in front of his eyes what happened. We can pay money and we will do it tomorrow when his dent get repaired but with this I have lost faith on police (I have always admired and respected Bangalore police and their work, even tweeted about them lot many times) but because of few people and their biased behavior is what breaks my heart. I know so many responsible youngsters (my friends, colleagues, neighbors) who don’t violate traffic rules and give effort to make our country beautiful and better place. THIS STEREOTYPING BY PEOPLE THAT YOUNGSTERS ARE CARELESS, RUDE AND RASH DRIVERS SHOULD GET STOPPED. When we said to the elderly person  we don’t want such court cases unnecessarily, he said – you people should learn a lesson and if it takes your career I don’t care. So basically it’s a revenge or something? I don’t understand and don’t want to understand such complexities. I just want people to be fair on their part, if we accept our mistakes why can’t other person do that rather than becoming stubborn and  frightening other person taking advantage of their politeness. And to its worst Police supporting something wrong breaks my heart. This is not the country which we dream about. Tomorrow we will pay him for the dent, take responsibility of our left fender damage but restoring our faith in humanity and justice will definitely going to take time. 

Somewhere

I was in the middle of nowhere, trying to find who i am, in the midst of the haze. I don’t remember what it was, smoke or clouds? But i heard birds chirping, calling me and dancing butterflies trying to tell me you are one of us, free yourself and enjoy in this nowhere of yours. I was so much into those voices that i could barely think. There was also a fragrance coming with the breeze. I felt, it reminded me of some flowers which were there in my garden during my childhood days or maybe it was some sweetened scent of honeycomb mixed with spices of those woods. I  was no longer able to concentrate to take a decision. I was so far from everything yet right in the middle of something.
I have always found myself lost at many situations of life, like when i am deeply thinking about something or maybe lost in some thought which i vaguely remember later. But this was the moment i enjoyed for being no one or to pretend to be someone. This was my favorite moment. I felt empty. My soul was able to connect with the nature, the smell of mud, sound of winds and welcoming postures of the eucalyptus trees waving towards me. I think those trees were pristine but the way it was letting their branches feel free it looked like clean and fresh as if they are new to this world. I was standing still or maybe i was moving forward, i wasn’t sure about that. All i noticed was clouds above me were in a hurry to go somewhere. I don’t know if they were really going somewhere or they were just nomads. Even i wanted to be a nomad, i wanted to break all the barriers and fly freely like they do. I wasn’t sure if i was jealous of them.
I met someone in those woods. I am not sure who it was, a human or an animal or a bird but i was so sure that i connected myself with the creature. First i thought it was a waff but it could have been the other way round too. Although that creature welcomed me with eye contact, the fact we were both so disconnected from the life or  the real world, was enough for us to meet and feel connected. I stopped in my tracks and looked back. Where was I? This question suddenly made me so insecure about myself that i blanked out and neglected my friend-to-be. My friend-to-be thought i am some terrifying person and went somewhere.
Then this question started haunting in my mind. What is real world? Where i was pretending to be someone or this moment where i am no one but still feel the sense of being myself. I knew i will never get this answer and decided to go back to the place i came from. Gradually all those resonance of birds and woods faded out and a familiar voice hit my ears. I was in the middle of a national highway standing in the way of many vehicles. I was not welcomed back.

Who is she?

She was 23. She used to stare herself hours and hours in front of the mirror. She was beautiful both inside and out. Always wanted to be independent, her aim was to become a teacher, educate kids make them pragmatic and prudent. She had her aims. She had visions. She had beautiful plans for her future where she never imagined herself as lonely or contingent on someone. Her thoughts were unpredictable so was her life.

It was an arranged marriage. She was not ready but never went against her parents. She rearranged herself in a new city, with strangers, unfamiliar family and new sets of restrictions. She became no one. Suddenly she was forced to accept cooking, cleaning and celebration as her new hobbies. Time became her driver and responsibilities her moderator. She wasn’t young anymore. With time, she became pregnant. She lost all her beauty giving birth to a beautiful daugther. She wasn’t sure if everyone was happy around her. Later she gave birth to a son. She raised her children the way she wanted to educate by teaching. All of a sudden she was living her aim. She was a teacher, a mould giving shapes and a lover. Years passed and when she noticed herself in mirror again she was aging. Age was just a number, she felt beautiful whenever she looked at her daughter. She was proud at the upbringing of her son. Her love was selfless. Now she actually accepted cooking as her hobby and make delicious food just to make her children happy. Her children turned adults. It was the moment when they became selfish and left her for their future enhancement. She cried but no one heard it. She was still happy but lonely this time. She is still there, praying for them, waiting for their call, loving them, still sacrificing and being altruisitc. She is now flipping old albums somewhere in this world. She is a philanthropist. She is your Mother.

The Fault in our genders

Although I was born and brought up in a small city of Uttar Pradesh, no one taught me to distinguish between a male and a female; No one told me what sexual harassment is, infact no one said you are a weak gender and compromise on the way you dress up and stuff. I was given a scooty to fly around my small city; never ever my parents restricted me to anything. Not only me but all my school friends commute with their vehicle and we enjoyed our freedom so much and never scared of anyone. I grew up to be a bold person.

…And then I faced a new world. Where Men hate women, girls were not safe, eve teasing was a daily chore, thinking if I am dressed properly so that I feel safe standing in front of mirror for about half an hour before leaving my hostel. This was no more a small city but a metropolitan place which once I used to watch on TV where girls roam around freely, stays alone and feels independent. I never experienced any of these. I lost my innocence and I grew up.

With time I joined job. I saw professional people. In reality there were not professional. I even got harassed at my work place by my boss. I was too novel to know if that was wrong. I was in need of job. I felt awkward and finally decided to share it with my office friends. My colleagues (esp. males) told me to maintain distance with such bosses. I grew up.

Then many other instances happen in my life, which I saw experienced, some faced bravely but some I ignored. It was my fault to ignore it. I knew I am a contractive person. Every time I heard stories about men-women complications, I grew up.

Something happened with me on Sunday which made me to write this. I was going somewhere with my husband on a bike. I was dressed properly (Jeans and t-shirt) with all the reality checks I do before leaving home, wrapped my stole on my head to cover my hairs and wore my shades to protect my eyes. But soon we enter a crowded signal we realized many people; both men and women were staring at me. I felt conscious and asked him to stop the bike, just to see if my clothes got torn from somewhere. No! it was not. We started again and again person of mid 40’s try to bring his bike near me, staring and smirking. My husband said maybe it’s some problem with the bike or my way of riding it. But somehow I knew, it’s not the problem with the bike or the way he was riding. It was the fault of our genders. I replied him back- “No! I think it’s the problem of me being a girl”. With that I GREW UP AGAIN.

Literacy vs Education

What differentiate you to be called as an educated person not just literate? Humans often muddle literate as being educated. But my view is being educated doesn’t mean you need to be literate and vice-versa. During my schooling, there was a subject called Moral Science which taught us to become good and responsible human beings. We read that book, listened to the teacher, mugged up the topics, wrote in exams, got good numbers and erased it from the memory. Even I did the same but with time when I became independent, responsible and mature, I realized Moral education was not for mugging up but it is something which has to be applied in our lives to make world a better place to live.

It all started with my obsession of traveling and exploring new places. I went roaming in my country and realized that Garbage is a national issue. People live in sky scraper buildings, earn lakhs of money, make their house clean early in the morning but throw garbage wherever they feel like. Have seen literate white collar job people carrying black plastic bins in their car, stop at the side of the road, throw that garbage and move on. Later those garbage bins get removed by the illiterate person who keep cleaning the roads to make the city clean. So who is educated here?

Being educated also means how much you follow rules and regulations? Yeah! We say rules are made to be broken. But Traffic rules and moral rules ARE NOT! SERIOUSLY! Honking when you know there is a hospital nearby or over speeding your vehicle doesn’t make you look cool. Breaking red lights and even honking madly on a red light with an abuse makes you look uneducated even your Ray-ban shades mock on your face.

It is just not garbage or rules and regulations, there are many other ways we are doing to make our surrounding worse. What is the use of that degree you earned? Ohh yes! It makes you get salary. But money doesn’t make you an educated person. Right? Parking in no parking, walking still when you see ‘Caution! Wet floor ahead’, peeing on the roadside, Spitting down sitting in a bus without caring who is standing beside it, not flushing in public toilets, etc. the list is endless here. Time to remember your moral education now.

Not just limited to these, abusing even when you are wrong at your part makes you look like a dimwit. What’s the use of debating over tea that our country is not a better place to live? Are you using your moral education to make it a better place? Or are you the one who just crib about it and then you do the same because everyone else is doing? High time, change is required. Call me a moral preacher, yes I am if it makes my society a better place to live.

Can go through the series of my tweets on this topic through below link-

#LiteracyVsEducation

Illiterate person is someone who cant read what is written. Uneducated person is the one who ignore wat is written & parks car in No Parking

 

 

 

 

 

Searching happiness… not found!

So what if I am doing great in my job or trying to be happy in my personal life. No I don’t like bragging about it on Social Media. Neither have I liked telling my achievements to my relatives nor to those friends who are trying their best to behave like a foe. But what if I share it because I am overwhelmed? I know the consequences but yes! I am also a human.

Jealousy, curse, disparage are the reactions we have to deal with if we share the happiness. “Ohh! So what did you do to get that job?”, “I deserved better than you anytime”, “I know you since long, you don’t have the talent”, “How can you change and become so smart?” These are the few reactions we get from them. So much distrust about other person makes them happy.

This is not the limit. I have seen few people stalking the profiles of their friends, cousins, colleagues, etc. They know so much about them, even that person who is getting stalked is not aware of. Even I have been victimized of being stalked. I don’t interact much with everyone reason; yes I am insecure about my happiness. I am jinxed that if I share this it will fade away from my life because in India we believe evil’s eye.

Gone are the days when we shared our travel pics album to our friends and family and they actually felt happy seeing our happiest capture. Now we post pics on Facebook and Instagram or maybe on Whatsapp. Personally, I have seen people reply on our posts and pics in a very sarcastic and jealous way. It is not limited to the jealousy and sarcasm; some people actually visit the place because they don’t want to be lagged behind from their friends or relatives and then prove that- “Dude! I explored this place more than you did”.

Crux of the matter is that we in the world of technology, constantly look out for happiness and satisfaction but we just cannot tolerate the fact that the other person is happier than us. This leads to the comparison of lives and wherever a state of equivalence happens you can’t feel contented.